Finding Home

Hello everyone,

Yesterday, during a rare moment of bliss on the beach celebrating my husband's 36th birthday—just the two of us, kid-free and without the usual hundred interruptions—we went deep into reflections about "home." What it means, how we define it, and how our children might perceive it.

My husband's childhood was steeped in stability; he grew up in just two houses. His earliest years were in New Malden, London, before moving at the age of 14 to a house in Cobham, Surrey, where his parents still live. His mum vividly remembers making that move when she was 39, a milestone that's just around the corner for us!

These homes continue to offer him a sense of comfort that he loves to this day. By contrast, our own journey with our three children involves chasing the sun, favourable tax regimes, and my husband's career opportunities, leading us to live in five different homes over the past five years. This nomadic lifestyle pushes us to constantly reevaluate our notion of home.

From engaging with resources like "Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds" by David C. Pollock, Ruth E. Van Reken, and Michael V. Pollock, it’s clear that children who grow up across multiple cultures encounter unique challenges. This book is an invaluable tool for anyone seeking insights into how frequent relocations and cultural transitions shape a child’s development btw

We've realised how important having a stable base is for instilling a sense of security and belonging. That's why maintaining consistent family traditions is important to us. They help us develop a sense of continuity that’s comforting amidst the frequent changes in geographic location. On a recent holiday, I met a couple who grew up as expats, much like our kids. The wife expressed a deep longing for family traditions, having missed those consistent rituals due to her family’s constant moving. Inspired, I reached out to my WhatsApp support groups for ideas on establishing our own family traditions.

Here are a few favourites:

- Birthdays: Rise early and prepare a special breakfast.

- Thanksgiving: Celebrate it wherever we are, reminiscent of our time in the States.

- Family Game or Movie Night: Dedicate Friday nights to this, schedules permitting.

- Valentine’s Day: Dads giving flowers to their daughters or buying plants for all the kids to celebrate our love.

With our eldest daughter only five, and high school still a way off, my husband and I are planning ahead to when we will "settle down" to provide that stability during her teenage years—when friendships become increasingly significant and consistent schooling becomes key.

While there are undeniable benefits to an expat lifestyle, the advantages of establishing roots and creating lasting traditions become more apparent as our children grow.

If you're navigating similar challenges, I recommend picking up a copy of "Third Culture Kids." It might just provide the guidance you need.

Let’s keep this conversation going?

How else can we blend our children's varied experiences into a cohesive identity that not only celebrates their unique backgrounds but also provides them with a supportive, stable environment?

Happy Thursday, everyone.

And remember to hold your babies close.

Love,

Tammy Peak